Written on 15 January 2019
The men in suits with the posh accents, and don't forget the women in pant suits and posh accents.
That collection. That rabble. You know the type. Well, that ilk, they talked and talked and talked. Yet they never really said anything, and none of them listened to one another.
So the mutant turtle from space, you know the one, it's, like 400 miles long and hovers over England and parts of Wales. It's got a gleaming gold shell, and it breathes fire. You must have seen it? Anyway, that thing just kept on sending fireballs to destroy stuff.
But, blimey, what can be done? A space turtle is unprecedented? People across Britain discussed what should be done. You know British people, they whine a lot and get angry about small things. Well this turtle was a very big thing, and the people were bloody furious. Some said we should try to kill the turtle, others said we should try and befriend. I mean who really knows? It's a blooming space turtle.
It's totally unprecedented. Precedent is completely absent from this space turtle situation. Talk talk talk.