Written on 15 April 2019
There was a rather pointed debate amongst the conspirators about what substance was most similar to blood in colour.
The obvious choice was ketchup, but Carl argued that it was too light, too runny, too obviously ketchup.
Brown sauce? Obviously too brown.
Kerry suggested using salsa as it would “make it look like it had brains in it.” This was dismissed by Slub almost straight away. “We're not making a horror movie here.”
They discussed food colouring, sriracha, poorly mixed red paint (apparently Carl had some in the garage left over from the last owners)
Someone even suggested very rich honey, to much guffawing from the other conspirators. “It's not even red” Slub chuckled.
Eventually, Carl was vetoed, and they used ketchup. They untied their captive and threw him roughly to the ground. Slub started arranging his limbs, whilst Kerry and the others applied the ketchup to his clothes, face and mouth, as well as the floor and wall. Carl especially enjoyed doing the blood spatter up the wall, squeezing the bottle joyously, jetting the ketchup from 10 feet away.
Slub took the photo and sent it straight to the captive's family.