Written on 14 February 2019
Poppy spent Valentine's day trawling the bars, restaurants and landmarks of London’s South Bank looking for couples getting engaged.
She'd been doing it for a few years now, and she was pretty good at spotting them. The proposer would be a little distracted, ordering wine that was clearly more expensive than what they’d usually get, dressed smartly. In fact, it was always pretty obvious.
This particular Valentine's day Poppy saw a man propose in Wagamamas, she said yes. A guy proposed to his girlfriend on the balcony at the Oxo tower in the freezing cold. She said yes. A lady proposed to her girlfriend on the London eye. Poppy wasn't in the pod at the time, but from the polite applause everyone else gave she assumed the girl said yes. Throughout the evening she saw seven proposals. All of the proposees said yes.
And after every single one Poppy shouted “Seriously? On Valentine's Day? Be original, you basic bitch.” and she’d flip the birds as she backed out to a chorus of boos.
Valentine's Day was the best.