Written on 12 January 2019
Let me tell you a typical day in my office.
I feel people like you, readers and what not, are constantly looking for the extraordinary, when there is drama. . . Proper human drama. . . In my office.
9am: I saw Stuart coming out of the elevator. He was notably ignoring Tanya. I've been saying for months that those two are having an affair, and this all but confirmed it. The furtive glances Tanya was giving Stuart was a dead giveaway. You should have seen them at the Halloween party. They didn't say a word to each other, yet they left within 10 minutes of one another. Both of them are married. Disgusting.
11am: I began drafting an email to Stuart's wife. They have two kids, and she's a nurse, so I feel like it's bang out-of-order that he's treating her like this. Her work email is listed on the hospital website, thankfully. I'm going to tell her everything I know, and also everything I suspect, because my hunches are usually spot on.
11.03am: Just got bollocked by Sue, my manager, for sending personal emails. She's such a grass. Always looking over my shoulder.
12pm: No response from Stuart’s wife, yet. Wonder whether she hasn't got round to reading it? Yeah, probably. Nurses are really busy, aren't they? This injustice, this utter pig-headed betrayal of a working mother, I must admit, distracted me away from my work. I felt like I needed to let Stuart know exactly what I think of his affair. I opened up another blank email.
2pm: When I get back to my desk after lunch there's still nothing from the wife, or Stuart for that matter. This makes me pretty angry, since what I've revealed is so important. I should be being thanked and cursed respectively. I think maybe I can make Tanya feel enough female empathy to confess to Sue. I'll be firm but subtle.
“Hi Tanya, I know what you and Stuart have been doing, you homewrecker.” That's how it started.
2.30pm: My asshole boss has told me to go and see HR. This is going to be about sending personal emails. She's such a rat..
I saw Tanya coming out of the toilets. Brilliant. She's obviously confessed.
3pm: I get suspended! Can you believe it? For telling the truth! Apparently all three of them made formal complaints. It suddenly dawned on me that the wife is probably in the know about the affair. In fact, it's probably one of those poly relationships. Suddenly, I felt really fucking angry at them. How could they treat me like this when I was just trying to help? Nice guy finishes last again.
As I grabbed my jacket from my desk I saw Stuart, coming out of the elevator. He looks at me with disgust, which is pretty rich coming from a pervert like that. What, is one woman not enough?