Written 28 December 2018
“I can assure you, I only did it in the interest of security.”
The voice crackled over the walkie talkie. It had been strapped to a lamp post using duct tape with a laminated sign above saying “Buzz for entry.”
The wrought iron gates were 20 foot high, and the fences on either side were draped in barbed wire. It ran along to number 1 on the left hand side of the road and number 2 on the right.
“You can't just put up a bloody gate. This is a through road.” Selma shouted. She wasn't happy. They had committed thousands of pounds of criminal damage to city property.
“Not anymore. From now on, if you want to come down our street you've got to have permission.”
“It's not your street! This street belongs to the city. You're in a lot of trouble.” She had called the police the moment she had seen it. A number of motorists had complained to her office about a giant gate blocking Woolworth Avenue.
“I'm a homeowner, madam, I have the right to protect my property however I see fit.”
“Of course you don't. Look, just open the gate so we can talk to you face to face.” The police were arriving.
“I'm afraid I can't do that.”
“Excuse me?”
“You could be a murderer, or a baby rapist, or a dog fucker. We have people, babies and dogs on this road, and I just don't trust that you're with the council.” Selma swore loudly. And turned to the police. “How quickly can you break this gate?”
“Can't do that, ma'am. These people have the right to protect themselves.” Selma stared at the officer hard. She shook her head, and stormed towards the gate. She went to shove it open, and was electrocuted.”
“Take that rapist!” the walkie talky buzzed.