Written 24 December 2018
“It's just, the angel did look awfully like your stepmum.” Joseph said.
He readjusted the reigns in his hands. “And the wings looked a bit makeshift, plus all our chickens had been plucked. It’s a bit. . . .” he finished, lamely.
Mary didn't respond. He chanced a look over his shoulder. “I mean, you know I believe you and everything. It's just. . . Can you just go through it one more time?” Mary cradled her belly, scowling.
“I've told you a million times, I'm carrying the son of God. The conception was immaculate. I'm still a virgin. Honestly, the angel went through it all with you.”
“I know. Sorry.” He walked in silence for a while, hooves on the dirt road plodding monotonously.
“That time I came home from work and our neighbour Paul was round.”
“For Pete's sake, Joseph, he was fixing our sacks. I've told you.”
“His shirt was off.”
“Look Joseph. I've been knocked up by a flipping deity. I'm stressed out enough as it is. To make matters worse, I'm having to ride a donkey hundreds of miles just to squirt the little fuck out. Can you please just give it a rest?”
Joseph looked mournfully back at her as she stared daggers through him.
“Okay, God’s baby it is.”