Written on 21 December 2018
Police log - Officer 265490 - Peeling Village Hall - 21/12/18
“I announce the 37th annual Peeling Gardens Residents association jamboree open. The right honourable John Foster presides.” Rigid, polite applause. John gets to his feet.
“Thank you. Thank you. I trust you all got your agendas. Let's get on with it, shall we?” Paxman-esque. A few nods of approval in the village hall.
“Number 89.” A low hiss emanates from the audience. “What are we going to do about Number 89?”
“Burn them!” Jacob from 43. No laughter. Might have been being serious.
“This is the 2nd year they have paid the road maintenance late. And this will not stand. THIS WILL NOT STAND.” Cheers from the crowd. All a bit Nuremberg so far.
“I swear the whole development just reeks of Reggae Reggae sauce. It's disgusting.” Sylvia from 12. Others are nodding.
“And those kids! I swear they linger in the dark to deliberately startle us. Well, they're of the night themselves, I guess.” Stuart, with a chuckle. “awful behaviour.” his wife Anne mutters.
“I pay my taxes!” yells Sylvia. Another roar of approval. The majority of the group are of retirement age.
“Let's sue them for breach of contract. That'll bankrupt them. Then the bank can sell there house to a nice respectable heterosexual couple.” Cagney. Probably the smartest. Not that smart.
“Nah, let's just burn their house down.” Jacob again. This time greeted with a roar of approval. Scraping of chairs. A few residents are smashing up some old set from a play. Torches are being lit.
Going to have to go stop this. Calling for backup.