Written on 16 November 2018
He was on his seventh Jack and Coke and he was looking to fuck. The bar was full, grimy, and the music was so loud.
He stumbled through the crowd looking for a woman, any woman that would take him. At the far end of the bar two ladies were chatting. Both had long blonde hair. Both had blue eyes. Both drinking colourful cocktails with umbrellas in them. Both were fucking gorgeous. Twins. They were twins. That would be something.
He lurched over to them, holding down a burp. They turned to look at him, unimpressed.
“Hey, d'you come here often?” they stared at him with complete disdain, unblinking. He persevered.
“So, you're twins? Which one is the evil one?”
“Both of us.” They said together, and in perfect symmetry they both removed their cocktail umbrellas and jammed the sticks into each of his eyes.